


Apropos of Nothing

by psiten



Category: Shoujo Kakumei Utena | Revolutionary Girl Utena, X -エックス- | X/1999
Genre: Alternate Universe - Pirate, CLAMP Jokes, Comic, Fan Art, Fan Comics, M/M, Pirates vs Ninjas, Spoilers for Shoujo Kakumei Utena Episode 39, Teenage Dorks
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-09-30
Updated: 2015-10-12
Packaged: 2018-04-24 04:10:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 434
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4904995
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/psiten/pseuds/psiten
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I don't just write. I also draw really sketchy comics! That I occasionally want to share with people even though (please be warned) I'm no Leonardo da Vinci when it comes to making sketches.</p><p>At present, these are mostly about Shirou Kamui, both in his own canon and in my <span class="u">15 Mokona</span> AU, because people who really never have good days are endlessly entertaining fodder for short gag comics.</p><p>And Kamui never has good days.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Eyepatch

Text:

1) [Death Shirou has an eyepatch]  
Fuuma: [shocked] "Kamui, no!"

2) [Fuuma tilts up Kamui's chin while Kamui blushes, and his hat falls off.]  
Fuuma: "Kamui... Who did this to you?!"

3) Kamui: [blushing and flustered] "Fuuma?! It... it was a grain of sand! It'll heal. The patch is..."

4) [Fuuma cuddles Kamui happily]  
Fuuma: "... Temporary? Good. I like your eye where it is. [hug]  
Kamui: [blush]

Caption: "Fuuma cares about Kamui's well-being. And other CLAMP-specific problems."


	2. Totally the End of X

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is just as likely as anything else I've heard.

Script:

Title: How X Might End

1) [Kamui lies torn up on the ground while gears, the Earth, and feathers hover illogically in the background]  
Kamui: "What I TRULY wish... FUUMA!!!"

2) Text: "(elsewhere)"  
*Spoilers for Ep 39 of Utena*: a figure falls from a broken pathway between a man with a carousel & drink, and a coffin marked with a rose, while a deadly swarm chases her.

3) [the figure falls through the sky, right on top of where Fuuma has a sword to Kamui's throat]

4) [the figure, a female, lands with a "thunk" on Fuuma's back, as his sunglasses and sword fly clear, and Fuuma himself falls on top of Kamui]  
Fuuma: "Well, this is awkward..."  
Kamui: "Is she dead?"

5) [another girl, wearing a beret, dress, and heels, picks up the possibly dead girl]  
Girl: "Can you gentlemen point me toward a hospital?"  
Kamui and Fuuma: [collapsed in each others' arms in the rubble of former Tokyo, both subject to super healing factors] "Uhh..."

6) Fuuma: "Try Kanagawa Prefecture? Maybe?"  
Girl: "Thanks."  
Kamui: [blushing] Leg... between knees... How to explain... World's most inappropriate boner...  
Sunglasses: "LOL"  
Sword: "ikr"  
Feathers: [still falling]

7) "Kamui..."  
"...Fuuma!"

8) [man shows up in a convertible]  
Man: "Can I offer you two a lift?"  
Fuuma: [thinks silently] But... no road?  
Kamui: "No thanks. My best friend taught me not to take rides from strangers."  
Sunglasses: "Wanna ditch these losers?"  
Sword: "HELL TO THE YES"

9) [Fuuma hugs Kamui happily] "Kamui! You do have a sense of self-preservation! <3 Let's kill evil Hinoto!"  
Caption: "And they lived happily ever after"  
Subaru: "What about..."  
Sunglasses: "Not you."  
Subaru: "Okay."


	3. Shopping for the Pirate Who Has Everything

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kamui does not make it easy to buy him presents.

Text:

1) Place: [misspelled beginning of "Unknown" is crossed out] Secret  
Date: Even more secret

2) Death Shirou's Birthday Party  
Kamui [holding present]: "... am I going to regret this?"  
Yuzuriha: "Just open it! It's from all of us!"

3) Kamui [pulling something out of a box with a cloud of grumbly, piratey, feathery emoticons]: "Grr. Fine. But don't expect--"

4) Kamui: [holding up a t-shirt that says, "Fight Me" over two crossed swords] "I have the best friends."  
Birthday = 100% Success.


End file.
